|
I am better
than your kids.
If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that
you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have
drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with
wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In
fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being
that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've
taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the
internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:
Megan, age 4 |
First
of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a
dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F |
Kyle, age 8 |
You
spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn
America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow
anywhere, traitor.F |
Lisa, age 6 |
Holy
shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words:
too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears,
dipshit.F |
Cameron, age 4 |
Terrible. F |
Bryce, age 10
|
This
one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines,
you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked
someone with talent to paint it for you On one hand I want to
give an A for effort but... F |
Jon, age 8 |
Ding Ding! Here
comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed
to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by
this hairy piece of shit. F |
Rachel, age 7
|
That's
interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow
is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white
isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try,
Hitler. F |
Jason, age 6 |
This one would
receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random
shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on
snow that look more coherent than this. F |
Seth, age 4
|
Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! Grade: F |
Kelly, age 9 |
This was a
Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now
pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to
pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find
all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously.
You give them video games and toys, and they give you some
half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift
like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to
find a napkin and some markers? F |
I can't believe how much I rule.
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