BACK

Thursday, May 2nd ,2002

Dear QDaiGuy

How do you find out if you’re in a relationship or not without having to ask?

                                                                                                     love

Dear Love,

            First of all, if you don’t know if you’re in a relationship with someone, then you’re probably not. Second of all, if the other person doesn’t know you or have any contact with you then you are a stalker. The first step to helping yourself is admitting that you are stalker. Ok say it with me, "I am a stalker." Now spell it out "S-T-A-L-K-E-R." Spell it out with your body will help you remember how stupid you look and are being a stalker.

The "S" is the hardest one to do, it is also the hardest step. First stand up and put your arms up and out over your head and our hands out at a 45 degree angle. Now arch your upper back back and kind of bend your knees and pull one foot up as if you’re in a romantic movie kissing someone in the rain (the flamingo leg). Now you got yourself an "S". The "T" is the easiest cuz all you have to do is spread your arms out while standing up straight the "A" is just like the "A" from YMCA. Lets make the "L" simple and just stand up straight. To make a "K", just stay standing but this time put your arms straight out and make the alligator chomping mouth with your arms to make a side way "V" like this <. The "E" is kinda difficult to explain. What you need to do is put on foot in front of the other, heel to toes, an done arm 90 degree angle out and the other one the same way but at the elbow instead of the shoulder. Last but not least, we have the "R". This is not difficult either. Now stand up straight with your arms down to your side. Then put your left hand on your hip and your left foot out to your side. (The ugly cheerleaders of Ugly High; who we all hate for their ugliness provided this part of the response. Thank you ugly girls.) Now that you know how ridiculous you look being a stalker maybe you should stop it.

It’s not healthy nor is it normal for people to stalk. Every time you think you’re in a relationship, you have to ask yourself the question of whether or not you’re stalking that someone or it’s a mutual thing.

                                                                        Love,

                                                                                    QDaiGuy